The Last Page -- A Short (for the Vixies)
She opens her eyes to the cold half light filter of early morning with a start. Her breaths are short and feverish. The piercing ring of silence fills her bedroom. Then faintly, beyond the ringing, she hears drops of rain puddling in mud outside her draped bedroom window. She closes her eyes and the images of her dream still play themselves out against the dark backdrop of her eyelids. When she opens her eyes again she sees her husband sitting with his head propped up on the pillow beside her. His face is locked in an expressionless stare.
"Are you OK?" She asks him quietly. He nods, rubs his eyes and looks over at her.
"Are you?" He asks her. She looks at the draped window and nods.
"It was just a dream." She says. "Still... I just can't shake the feeling that..." She takes a deep breath. The rain continues to puddle outside. "Never mind." She says. "It's silly, really."
He nods. "What do you want to do?" He asks. He can see it in her eyes, like always, plans already being made.
She looks at him for a moment. "Let's get the kids together this evening." She says.
"I can make rice and chili." He says.
"I'll let everyone know." She says. With that she turns to her bedside table and picks up a wrinkled paperback copy of Eat, Pray, Love.
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He scoops up two bowls of hot oatmeal from the range top while she sits at the kitchen table and reads her book. After he fills the bowls he turns off the burner and then pulls a plastic bag of almonds from the cupboard next to the fridge. With bowls of oatmeal and a bag of almonds in hand he pauses and watches her, leaning over the table, intent on her reading.
"How many times have you read that same book?" He asks as he sets down their breakfast on the table in front of her.
"I don't know." She says. "Maybe a dozen times or so." She says.
"Are you going to finish it today?" He says.
She doesn't look up but nods. "I have to." She says.
"Are you going to finish it today?" He says.
She doesn't look up but nods. "I have to." She says.
He pulls out a chair and sits next to her at the table. He is about to ask her more when the phone rings. Without a word he pushes himself up from the table and walks over to the receiver.
"Hi, Sweetie pie." He says into the phone. "How is work?" At the kitchen table, his wife turns in her chair.
"Is that Julie?" She asks. "Ask her if Ryan is bringing over the twins this morning." She says.
"Sure." He says into the phone. "She's right here."
He walks back over to the table and hands her the cordless phone. "She has a question for you." He says.
"What's the matter, Punkey?" She says into the phone. He stands just close enough to make out the sound of his daughter's voice on the other line. She must be at work, he thinks to himself. It sounds like a nursing question, something about an odd rash, skin discoloration, spreading to other areas...
"Are there any signs of fever?" She says. No, he can hear Julie say. And then something else that he can't quite make out.
"Have you spoken to the doctor?" She says. Not yet, Julie says. I wanted to ask your opinion first, she says.
"Well, I would recommend to the doctor that you test for allergies." She says. "Other than that, I don't really know." She turns to her husband and shrugs her shoulders.
"Oh and what about the twins?" She says. "Is Ryan working on his writing today? I haven't heard from him yet." She says. Yeah, I think so, Julie says. I'll call him and find out for sure. But he should be bringing them by this morning. Is that still OK, Julie says.
"Of course it's OK." She says. She looks at her husband again and shakes her head.
"Ask her if she got my email?" He says.
"Did you get Dad's email?" She says. About dinner tonight, Julie says. Yeah, we'll plan on it, she says.
"OK. Well, we'll see you tonight then." She says. OK, Julie says.
"Love you." She says. Love you too, Julie says. And then she pulls the phone away from her ear and hands it to her husband.
"She is so funny." She says to him. "I don't know why she still calls me about things like that. She's been a nurse for almost ten years. I don't know why she doesn't just ask the doctor." She says.
He chuckles to himself as he places the phone on the charger.
"She's still our little girl." He says. He sits down at the table with her and reaches for the bag of almonds. She doesn't say anything. He glances at her as he mixes the almonds into his bowl of oatmeal and notices a single bead of moisture breaking free of her eyeliner. He watches as the tear runs down the lines on her cheek, pools slightly on her chin and then drops onto the fingerprint smudged pages of her book below.
"Is Jeremy up?" He says to her. "Does he want some breakfast yet?"
"He's writing for tonight's show." She says. "He'll be down in a few minutes."
"You'd better eat something." He says. "The twins will be here soon." He pushes her bowl of oatmeal toward her. She nods but doesn't reach for the bowl. After a couple minutes she flips the page in her book and continues to read on.
"Are there any signs of fever?" She says. No, he can hear Julie say. And then something else that he can't quite make out.
"Have you spoken to the doctor?" She says. Not yet, Julie says. I wanted to ask your opinion first, she says.
"Well, I would recommend to the doctor that you test for allergies." She says. "Other than that, I don't really know." She turns to her husband and shrugs her shoulders.
"Oh and what about the twins?" She says. "Is Ryan working on his writing today? I haven't heard from him yet." She says. Yeah, I think so, Julie says. I'll call him and find out for sure. But he should be bringing them by this morning. Is that still OK, Julie says.
"Of course it's OK." She says. She looks at her husband again and shakes her head.
"Ask her if she got my email?" He says.
"Did you get Dad's email?" She says. About dinner tonight, Julie says. Yeah, we'll plan on it, she says.
"OK. Well, we'll see you tonight then." She says. OK, Julie says.
"Love you." She says. Love you too, Julie says. And then she pulls the phone away from her ear and hands it to her husband.
"She is so funny." She says to him. "I don't know why she still calls me about things like that. She's been a nurse for almost ten years. I don't know why she doesn't just ask the doctor." She says.
He chuckles to himself as he places the phone on the charger.
"She's still our little girl." He says. He sits down at the table with her and reaches for the bag of almonds. She doesn't say anything. He glances at her as he mixes the almonds into his bowl of oatmeal and notices a single bead of moisture breaking free of her eyeliner. He watches as the tear runs down the lines on her cheek, pools slightly on her chin and then drops onto the fingerprint smudged pages of her book below.
"Is Jeremy up?" He says to her. "Does he want some breakfast yet?"
"He's writing for tonight's show." She says. "He'll be down in a few minutes."
"You'd better eat something." He says. "The twins will be here soon." He pushes her bowl of oatmeal toward her. She nods but doesn't reach for the bowl. After a couple minutes she flips the page in her book and continues to read on.
----------------------------------------------------
"Zteetz!" She says with a smile as she swings open her front door to reveal her son, Aaron holding a brown paper to-go bag from Chipotle.
"Mother." He says. "Mind if I join you while I eat my lunch?" He raises his bag and steps in through the doorway.
"Of course." She says. "What a pleasant surprise." She squeals. He leans in and she wraps her arms around his neck. He hugs her briefly and pats her back with his left hand when she holds onto him for a moment longer than usual.
"I didn't think I'd get to see you at lunch today since you are all coming for dinner tonight." She says. "You guys are still coming, right?" She says.
"Yes." He says. "We'll be here at six."
She shuts the door and follows him to the kitchen table. Her book sits open and face down where she left it before she went to get the door. She picks it up, creases the page and sets it on the kitchen counter.
"Where is everyone?" Aaron says as he pulls out a chair from the table.
"Dad and Jeremy ran to the store to get fresh bread for tonight." She says. "And the twins are down for a nap." She pulls out a chair and sits down at the table with her son. He tears into the paper bag and puts a whole chip into his mouth as he unwraps his burrito.
"Man, I still can't believe Jeremy writes a blog for The Tonight Show." He says. "Do you remember when you and Dad and Jeremy used to sit and watch Jay every night? And now he works for him." He says. "That's so cool."
He bites into the corner of his burrito.
"Who would have guessed?" She says with a smile. "How are Emily and and your two beautiful girls?" She asks.
She gets up and pours them both a glass of filtered water from the fridge.
"Good." He says between bites. "Em is only working on Fridays now. And she helps out at the restaurant a couple days a week too. And... the girls just started dance lessons." He says with a chuckle.
She takes a drink of water and chokes on a laugh. "Oh Zteetz." She says. "What are you going to do with that house full of girls?"
He nods and smiles and then takes another bite of his burrito followed by a handful of chips. A moment later they hear the electric drone of the automatic garage door opening.
"That sounds like Dad and Jeremy." She says.
"Shoot." He says. "I've got to get back to the restaurant." He begins to wrap up the rest of his burrito.
"They can manage without you for a few more minutes, can't they?" She says. He looks at his wristwatch and puts another chip in his mouth as he stands up from the table.
"OK." He says. "I suppose I can stay for a few more minutes. Do you have last night's Tonight Show recorded?" He asks.
She nods. "Of course." She says. The garage door moans shut once more as Mother and Son settle into the sectional sofa in the family room opposite the television. They wait for the other two and as they wait she notes the substance, the value, of each moment as it passes.
"Mother." He says. "Mind if I join you while I eat my lunch?" He raises his bag and steps in through the doorway.
"Of course." She says. "What a pleasant surprise." She squeals. He leans in and she wraps her arms around his neck. He hugs her briefly and pats her back with his left hand when she holds onto him for a moment longer than usual.
"I didn't think I'd get to see you at lunch today since you are all coming for dinner tonight." She says. "You guys are still coming, right?" She says.
"Yes." He says. "We'll be here at six."
She shuts the door and follows him to the kitchen table. Her book sits open and face down where she left it before she went to get the door. She picks it up, creases the page and sets it on the kitchen counter.
"Where is everyone?" Aaron says as he pulls out a chair from the table.
"Dad and Jeremy ran to the store to get fresh bread for tonight." She says. "And the twins are down for a nap." She pulls out a chair and sits down at the table with her son. He tears into the paper bag and puts a whole chip into his mouth as he unwraps his burrito.
"Man, I still can't believe Jeremy writes a blog for The Tonight Show." He says. "Do you remember when you and Dad and Jeremy used to sit and watch Jay every night? And now he works for him." He says. "That's so cool."
He bites into the corner of his burrito.
"Who would have guessed?" She says with a smile. "How are Emily and and your two beautiful girls?" She asks.
She gets up and pours them both a glass of filtered water from the fridge.
"Good." He says between bites. "Em is only working on Fridays now. And she helps out at the restaurant a couple days a week too. And... the girls just started dance lessons." He says with a chuckle.
She takes a drink of water and chokes on a laugh. "Oh Zteetz." She says. "What are you going to do with that house full of girls?"
He nods and smiles and then takes another bite of his burrito followed by a handful of chips. A moment later they hear the electric drone of the automatic garage door opening.
"That sounds like Dad and Jeremy." She says.
"Shoot." He says. "I've got to get back to the restaurant." He begins to wrap up the rest of his burrito.
"They can manage without you for a few more minutes, can't they?" She says. He looks at his wristwatch and puts another chip in his mouth as he stands up from the table.
"OK." He says. "I suppose I can stay for a few more minutes. Do you have last night's Tonight Show recorded?" He asks.
She nods. "Of course." She says. The garage door moans shut once more as Mother and Son settle into the sectional sofa in the family room opposite the television. They wait for the other two and as they wait she notes the substance, the value, of each moment as it passes.
----------------------------------------------------
Later, when the pot of chili and the rice cooker are cleaned out, the fresh loaf of bread gone, the peppers, butter and sour cream put back in the fridge and after all the dishes have been loaded into the dishwasher, she again settles into the soft pillows of her sofa. In her left hand she holds her book and in her right her 8th generation Iphone. Her husband of fifty plus years sits at her side. Her children lounge, some with spouses, on couches and chairs around the room and banter amiably about parenting techniques, real estate or golf while their children play games on the floor in front of them.
She smiles when Joel comes over and sits on the couch next to her.
"Hey Ba-Dee." She says as she sets her phone in her lap and rubs her hand on his back. "Where did you and Dad disappear to earlier?"
He squeezes her leg and leans back against the couch. "I was showing him my latest website." He says. "The one I designed for Audi USA."
"It's pretty good stuff." Her husband says, nodding his head.
"I'm so proud of you." She says. "How are my grand-kids, all five of them?" She asks.
He laughs. "Yep, I've just about got my own volleyball team." He jokes. "Had I know this was the alternative to getting a dog..." They both laugh and from across the room his wife, Ellie says with a smile, "what was that, hunny?"
"Nothing, hunny." He says. "So what's this book you're reading again?" He says to his mother. "How can you read the same book over and over?" He says. "Sounds like my worst nightmare."
She laughs. "I don't know." She says. "It's the moments within these pages that make it such an amazing story." She picks up the book and turns it over in the air. "I don't care that I know how it ends." She says. "And I don't care that I have memorized each page, each paragraph. There is still a pure sense of joy in living through each moment again and again."
He shakes his head at her with a grin. "No thanks." He says.
"Well," she says. "It's what I enjoy. Even if it doesn't make sense to everyone else." She says.
With that, Mother, Father and Son sit in comfortable silence and listen as Julie describes the motorcycle victim she attended to in the ER earlier. As Julie talks, her mother sees the images of last night's dream once more play out within her head. She feels a lump climbing up through her chest and she fights back the urge to stand up and flee the constraints of this walled in room. She clutches the book in her lap with white knuckles and purple fingertips. She remembers that she is only on page 216 of 334. How will I finish in time, she screams soundlessly.
But then she again takes note of her daughter across the room. She watches as Julie waives her hands to illustrate her story. She listens, not only to her daughter's words, but also to the constant background chatter of children playing at her feet. She watches the way Aaron leans into his wife, the way Joel shares long telling looks with his wife who sits across the room, the way Julie sits on her husband's lap as she relives the drama of the ER. She watches Jeremy as he leans down and plays with her grandchildren. And she watches her grandchildren as they crowd around their uncle in excitement and joy. She smells the lingering aromas of the evening's meal mixed with the scent of the wood fire crackling in the corner of the room. She feels the soft embrace of the sofa's over-stuffed pillows, the body heat radiating from her husband and her son sitting on either side of her.
With a smile she takes the book in her left hand, she leans over her knees, she slips the book between her legs, under the lip of the sofa and she lets go of it. She leans back into the couch, between her husband and her son. She takes in steady, slow breaths and she enjoys each page, each paragraph, each sentence... each word.
She smiles when Joel comes over and sits on the couch next to her.
"Hey Ba-Dee." She says as she sets her phone in her lap and rubs her hand on his back. "Where did you and Dad disappear to earlier?"
He squeezes her leg and leans back against the couch. "I was showing him my latest website." He says. "The one I designed for Audi USA."
"It's pretty good stuff." Her husband says, nodding his head.
"I'm so proud of you." She says. "How are my grand-kids, all five of them?" She asks.
He laughs. "Yep, I've just about got my own volleyball team." He jokes. "Had I know this was the alternative to getting a dog..." They both laugh and from across the room his wife, Ellie says with a smile, "what was that, hunny?"
"Nothing, hunny." He says. "So what's this book you're reading again?" He says to his mother. "How can you read the same book over and over?" He says. "Sounds like my worst nightmare."
She laughs. "I don't know." She says. "It's the moments within these pages that make it such an amazing story." She picks up the book and turns it over in the air. "I don't care that I know how it ends." She says. "And I don't care that I have memorized each page, each paragraph. There is still a pure sense of joy in living through each moment again and again."
He shakes his head at her with a grin. "No thanks." He says.
"Well," she says. "It's what I enjoy. Even if it doesn't make sense to everyone else." She says.
With that, Mother, Father and Son sit in comfortable silence and listen as Julie describes the motorcycle victim she attended to in the ER earlier. As Julie talks, her mother sees the images of last night's dream once more play out within her head. She feels a lump climbing up through her chest and she fights back the urge to stand up and flee the constraints of this walled in room. She clutches the book in her lap with white knuckles and purple fingertips. She remembers that she is only on page 216 of 334. How will I finish in time, she screams soundlessly.
But then she again takes note of her daughter across the room. She watches as Julie waives her hands to illustrate her story. She listens, not only to her daughter's words, but also to the constant background chatter of children playing at her feet. She watches the way Aaron leans into his wife, the way Joel shares long telling looks with his wife who sits across the room, the way Julie sits on her husband's lap as she relives the drama of the ER. She watches Jeremy as he leans down and plays with her grandchildren. And she watches her grandchildren as they crowd around their uncle in excitement and joy. She smells the lingering aromas of the evening's meal mixed with the scent of the wood fire crackling in the corner of the room. She feels the soft embrace of the sofa's over-stuffed pillows, the body heat radiating from her husband and her son sitting on either side of her.
With a smile she takes the book in her left hand, she leans over her knees, she slips the book between her legs, under the lip of the sofa and she lets go of it. She leans back into the couch, between her husband and her son. She takes in steady, slow breaths and she enjoys each page, each paragraph, each sentence... each word.
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